Monthly Archives: November 2011

An Important Time to Support BEDA!

An Important Time to Support BEDA!
An Important Time to Support BEDA!

There is still time to make a donation on this day, “Give to the Max Day,” a 24-hour window during which non-profits compete to earn monetary awards to support their work. Those who receive the highest number of donations, as well as those that receive the highest amount of money receive additional funds for their organizations.

I’m writing to ask you to consider donating to BEDA, the Binge Eating Disorder Association, because they do work that is particularly vital as Binge Eating Disorder is only at the very, very beginning of being recognized as a separate, diagnosable eating disorder. This is a time when many people, including those who suffer with the disorder, their families, their treatment teams, and the general public are going to need education and resources.

If you don’t have time today to donate through the Give 2 the Max program, please consider donating through the BEDA website (http://bedaonline.com/) at a later time.

Thanks so much in advance for supporting an organization that is helping to support all of us who’ve suffered with our relationship to food in this particular way.

If We Were All Supermodels

If We Were All Supermodels
If We Were All Supermodels

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the fantasy of being someone who “everyone” loves, who “everyone” approves of, who “everyone” finds sexy. On an intellectual level we know this is impossible, but on the emotional and psychological levels, the part of us that needs love is susceptible to this type of fantasy.

Once in a while it can be amusing and/or enlightening to blend some sort of thin fantasy with realistic human values. For example, let’s say we abide by a principle of fairness, and grant that everyone deserves to be considered super-sexy. We’ll use the images that our sick culture feeds us to define sexyness for the moment, since so many of us get caught in a war trying to match these images. So, we imagine every single woman very thin, perfect hair, etc.; every man tall, ripped, etc.

When I first imagined this, I had the thought, hehheh, everyone would just go nuts in the streets. Everyone would be attracted to each other constantly. Thinking past that aspect, I imagined everyone being included at every party, everyone being given what they wanted, everyone taking tons of pictures of themselves.

These are just my own reactions based on silliness combined with certain beliefs I always linked with being thin or “hot.” You might find it useful to explore your own ideas about how it would play out. If you’ve never done a “thin fantasy” before, the point is to discover what you may subconsciously believe is attached to having a thin body.

But in this case, imagining what would happen if we were all supermodels, I find that after the initial upheaval, we’d all be left with the same situation of being human beings sharing a world with each other. What would happen when someone really got pissed off? How many times could that happen with someone having the, “Aw, but she’s so cute though, I’ll forget it,” response, before they snap?? What would happen when someone got killed in a car crash? The supermodel family members would have utterly broken hearts. What about pollution and the economy? Supermodel government officials and many supermodel citizens would still be struggling to implement solutions.

When you put the focus on your body aside – ideally through healing your relationship with it, and also through thought experiments such as this – you realize that much more important than what you look like, is the fact that you are a human soul who found herself alive in this world. And every day, no matter what’s up with your body, you’re still left with the task of living. Exploring yourself, learning how to relate to others, navigating feelings, and yes, buying clothes and eating. Dealing with the fact of poverty in the world. Dealing with family issues. Dancing and working and trudging through psychological issues and hanging out and zoning out and all of it!

So… If you find yourself getting too caught up in the endless “what-ifs” of being soooooo hot… or “just thin,” or even “just my natural weight!!!!!!”… Remember, you’re kinda distracting yourself from all your life that needs to be lived.

Judy

How You Relate to Your To-Do List

How You Relate to Your To-Do List
How You Relate to Your To-Do List

Perfectionism often goes hand in hand with eating & body issues. And perfectionism often goes hand in hand with never-ending To-Do lists. I certainly have one attempting to tyrannize my mind all throughout the day.

We can’t ignore that it can feel really good to check things off the list. It gives us a sense of confidence, accomplishment, a feeling of clearing away obstacles and making room to breathe. As with so many things, however, the problem arises when we become obsessed.

If you find yourself becoming obsessed with your To-Do list, and/or structuring your entire day around your To-Do list, I recommend the following:

Splurge all the tasks you can think of into a To-Do List From Hell. Set aside at least a good 15 minutes for this – and get it ALL out. I’m talking lengthy Word document, covering all areas – Work, Play, Relationships, Body, Household, Creativity, Family, Organizing… anything and everything that comes to mind. You’ll get exhausted before you could ever list everything, but, keep going until you feel like you got almost as much as you can think of for now out into the list.

Now, look over the list. Read it in its entirety. Notice the length of it. Start to imagine the number of minutes and hours some of the items on the list would take. If you’re really ambitious (or bored) actually add up the amounts of time everything would take altogether.

I’m sure you get the idea here – you’ll see that we would all need numerous lifetimes in order to do alllllllllllll the things we wish to do. And if we got that extra time, we’d think of even more things to do, of course, on into infinity. Concretely realizing this after making your own list, understand that this only grants more meaning to the actions we do choose to take, it doesn’t make them futile.

Your heart knows which “things to-do” are most important. Honor your limited time in this life by being fully present with the actions you do choose to take. Do one thing at a time. Know that your mountain of other things-to-do is recorded, not in danger of being forgotten, and then let it go as you do the one thing that it’s time to do.

Good luck!
Judy