Monthly Archives: July 2011

Having All Your Shit Together

Having All Your Shit Together
Having All Your Shit Together

We incessantly compare ourselves to others, and to our idealized versions of what we should be.
Thus, I encourage you to do the following exercise as often as possible:

Whether you are home, on the subway, in a store, wherever there is another person in your vicinity, hold your gaze on a person for a few moments. And say to yourself:
“This person does not have all their shit together. They could really use some help.”
Next person:
“This person does not have all their shit together. They could really use some help.”

Because guess what, it’s true of every single human being. The boss at work whose power you might desire. The thin, well-dressed woman whose body you envy. The runner and her athleticism. The government official and her influence. The high school classmate and her circle of followers. A celebrity, your brother, a teacher, an older or younger person.

No matter how Zen-like or powerful or in charge or energetic or approved-by-society a person may seem, there are issues in his life, be they related to housework, relationships, work, you name it, there are issues that are not fully resolved or close to ideal. And that person would benefit from support for those issues.

This exercise is in the name of directing the same understanding and compassion towards yourself. What you compare yourself to does not exist – perfection on all or any counts.
Instead of feeling shame, disappointment, and disgust towards yourself for yet again not measuring up, offer the support you’d offer anyone else if they revealed they were having a painful struggle with something.

A wise man once said: “If someone has all their shit together, it’s because they’re standing in it.”

Judy